Friendship

As we enter our third week of the new year 2023, I have been thinking of the things this on-going Pandemic (endemic) has left us with.  And one of those things is an increase in loneliness.  Or, to put it another way, the loss of friendship.

Forced isolation broke ritual: the ritual of going out with friends to eat, the ritual of going to yoga or exercise classes, the ritual of attending sports events, the ritual of meeting for coffee or a drink, the ritual of going into the work-place, the ritual of regular extended family Sunday dinner and, of course, the ritual of attending Sunday worship. These are just some of the many things which brought us into face-to-face relationship with others.

Even as things slowly return to a somewhat normal pace of existence, we seem to have lost the art of friendship.  As noted by Arthur Brooks’ column “How We Learned to Be Lonely”, published in The Atlantic, “There seems to be a loss in conversational cues, the ability to read body language, expressing small gestures of care and kindness – all made rusty by lack of use. Friendship is comprised of many such practiced actions, signs and signals of support, shared memories and listening.”  We have been forced into new habits which, like bad habits, can be hard to break.

When viewed in biblical terms, friendship, either with God or with another, is a covenant.  God established an intimate relationship with Abraham (in Isaiah 41: 8 God refers to Abraham as “my friend”).  God established a “face-to-face” relationship with Moses (Exodus 33: 11).  And, of course, in Jesus God made relationship an intimate experience for those who walked with him, then and now.

Perhaps we need to re-examine what friendship really means.  Going back to Genesis, the biblical drama began with a God who created for the sheer joy of companionship – and even relates how God felt sorry for Adam because he was lonely.

Friendship is at the very centre of Jewish and Christian ideas of creativity, joy and community.  It is perhaps the first virtue.  We were made for friendship with God, with creation and with each other. In fact, “Friendship with God is not a biblical side story;
rather, it is central to the promises and faithfulness of being a called people,
in which all are friends, companions, intimates, siblings, and beloved. (From Freeing Jesus: Rediscovering Jesus as a Friend, Teacher, Savior, Lord, Way and Presence - Book by Diana Butler Bass).

 

 

 

So, by now you might be asking why I am sharing these thoughts with you?  Yes, it is entirely possible that things may never be the same.  But many of us have been waiting for some time for the “new” thing which God is doing.  Showing us how we need to reconnect to that which was always there.

With buildings closing and members leaving or scattered, all that church people have left is a story of a God who hates aloneness.  Perhaps that is the story we need to be focusing on, living out for ourselves and genuinely offering to others as we drift through this lingering endemic and the losses we are living.

Once again, I turn to my “blue box” of comfort and these words:

May you be blessed with good friends.
May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.
May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where
there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiveness.
May this change you.
May it transfigure that which is negative, distant, or cold
in you.
May you be brought in to the real passion, kinship, and
affinity of belonging.
May you treasure your friends.
May you be good to them and may you be there for them;
may they bring you all the blessings, challenges, truth,
and light that you need for your journey.
May you never be isolated.
May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your
anam ċara.
— John O’Donohue (anam ċara means “soul friend”)

In the spirit of God’s eternal friendship

Pastor Beryl, DLM

In Memoriam: Alex Webster

Pastor Beryl led a celebration of life at Yves-Legare Funeral Complex in Lasalle on Tuesday December 20th. The following obituary appeared in the Montreal Gazette last Saturday:

WEBSTER, Alexander
1949 - 2022

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of Mr. Alexander "Butch" Webster, on December 13, 2022, at the age of 73. Beloved husband of 46 years to Suzanne Goddard, cherished father of Ryan (Kia), devoted grandfather of Madison, Nathan and Hayley. He will also be missed by his 2 sisters Theresa and Joan, many relatives and friends as well as the Lasalle Warriors Football Organization, where he volunteered for many years.
The family will receive condolences on Tuesday, December 20, 2022 from 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. at Yves Legare Funeral Complex in Lasalle.
A prayer meeting will be held the same day at 2:30 p.m. in the chapel of the complex.
The family would like to extend their gratitude to the doctors and nurses at the Hôpital Général de Montréal for their wonderful support and care.
In lieu of flowers, a donation to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada, a charity close to his heart, would be appreciated.

A Savior, Which is Christ, the Lord

In a few days it will be Christmas Eve.  For me, it is the holiest night of the year, the whole essence of Christmas wrapped up in a few short hours. O yes, Christmas Day with the exchange and opening of gifts, the gathering of family, the turkey and all that goes with it is wonderful.  But, for me, Christmas Eve is the real deal.

My family did not speak the word “savior”.  In fact, the first time I became aware of that term was with the airing of A Charlie Brown Christmas, the classic holiday cartoon, first aired on television in 1965. Poor Charlie Brown! No one remembered the true meaning of Christmas. He was so depressed! At the climax of the show, he cried out in frustration, “Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?”

His friend Linus stepped on stage and recited verses from Luke 2: “And the angel said unto them, Fear not . . . for unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior which is Christ the Lord.”

It would not be until I began theological studies 15 years later that the term “savior” would take on meaning - but perhaps not in the way one might expect.  You see, as part of my studies, the class was required to read the book “Freeing Jesus” by Marcus Borg.  Even the term “freeing” is not what you think it might be (but that is for another time).  If you ever get the chance, I hope you’ll read it because it is theologically open, and inviting, not narrow as some people too often (and sadly) define Jesus as savior.  Hereunder is a quote from Marcus which sheds some light on the word “savior”:

Roman imperial theology is the oppositional context for much of early Christian language about Jesus. The gospels, Paul’s letters, and the other New Testament writings use the language of imperial theology, but apply it to Jesus. Jesus is the “Son of God” — the emperor is not. Jesus is the “Lord” — the emperor is not. Jesus is the “Savior” who brings “peace on earth” — the emperor is not.

Over the years I have come to realize that to see Jesus as savior is an on-going, ever evolving experience of love, kindness, compassion, acceptance, hope, forgiveness and, sadly, sometimes even having to just walk away.

As we celebrate our last Christmas Eve service at our beloved SouthWest United, I would like to focus on one word for the next few days; and that is “hope”. 

I must include my beloved Christmas Mary in this invitation.  Mary must have had to dig deep into her very being to find hope many times through her journey as Mother of the Savior. And I am sure that finding hope for Mary also included some fear, some sadness and even some despair.

As we celebrate this last Christmas Eve at SouthWest, we too are standing in the need of “hope”.  Hope for a gentle and easy transition to Summerlea (or whatever choice you may have made). Hope for the continuity of community and relationship built over many years.  Hope that what ever the future holds, Spirit will be guiding our path. 

Mary did not know that, more than 2,000 years later, her child would still be called “a saviour which is Christ the Lord”.  Perhaps she had hope that he would. But she could not be sure, could she?  That would be left to a holy power.

I wish I had exceptional words to leave you with as we approach Christmas Eve 2022.

Perhaps it would be enough to leave you with the words of a “hymn” which changed my view of the savior for ever.  Please breathe them in and let them calm any uncertainties you might be feeling into “hope”.

Mary, Did You Know?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy
Has come to make you new?
This child that you delivered, will soon deliver you

 Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Will calm the storm with his hand?

 Did you know that your baby boy
Has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little baby
You kiss the face of God

Mary, did you know?
Mary, did you know?
Mary, did you know? Did you know?
Mary, did you know? Mary, did you know?
Mary, did you know? Mary, did you know?
Mary, did you know? Mary, did you know?

 The blind will see, the deaf will hear
The dead will live again
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak
The praises of the Lamb

Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Would one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy
Is heaven's perfect Lamb?
That sleeping child you're holding is the great, I Am

Mary, did you know? (Mary, did you know?)
Mary, did you know? (Mary, did you know?)
Mary, did you know? Oh

Songwriters: Mark Lowry / Buddy Greene

Mary, Did You Know? lyrics © Greensleeves Publishing Limited, Word Music, Lic.

 

Hope for the Rodriguez-Flores family

It was around -9 degrees in Sherbrooke on Wednesday morning, but Manuel Rodriguez was loving it. “It’s the first time I’ve been outdoors (in a year)” he told reporters in French. Manuel, his wife Georgina and their son Manolo, who sought sanctuary in Plymouth-Trinity church over a year ago, made their way to Canadian Border Services with their lawyer to ask that the arrest order against them be lifted. This wish was granted with a warning that they must present themselves once a week to border services. A new deportation order could come at any time, but for now, the three members of the family are able to move freely around Sherbrooke. Supporters will continue to petition the federal Immigration Minister, Sean Fraser, to grant them permanent resident status.
“I feel very happy,” Manolo, 19, told Radio-Canada. “I can see my friends, go out with them, that’s it. There are no words to explain it.”

Manuel, at left, Georgina, in the light coat, and Manolo behind her, with friends and supporters outside Plymouth-Trinity. (Radio-Canada)

Steps Along the Way

Two SouthWest treasures have found (or will soon find) a new home at Summerlea United: the baby grand piano we have enjoyed hearing Sarah and others play over the years will be moved into the sanctuary at Summerlea on December 27th.

The stained glass window depicting the United Church crest which hung in our entrance hall, will soon hang in the entrance hall at Summerlea. Thank you to Dante and Matteo Girardi for figuring out how to remove and transport it!

Many thanks to Dennis Brown for his diligent work to make both of these transfers happen, and to our new friends at Summerlea for their collaboration.

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