There is probably nothing that changes your life more than the death of a loved one, even a pet.
As I write the blog for this week, the call has already been placed and the appointment made. I have put it off more than once since Christmas, hoping against all hope that the good days in between the bad ones would prevail.
He came in the late fall of 2009. He appeared in the back yard, where so many had appeared before him. Living on a Cul de Sac beside the Douglas Hospital Grounds saw many abandoned or homeless animals appear.
We already had taken in so many over the years we lived there. We really did not need just one more cat….and we tried to dissuade him from hanging around. But he was adamant so we opened up the pool shed and put down warm blankets and food, hoping to at least get him through the coming winter. An early freezing rain in late November changed all of that.
In he came, relegated to the empty apartment upstairs as both my mom and aunt had moved into cared living by then. He was pure grey and infested with fleas. And he was not neutered. At first, I believed him to be on the autistic scale as he would not make eye contact. But he was regal in posture and highly intelligent. So, we named him Charles.
For so many, the isolation of the past two years has been made bearable by the companionship of pets. The blessing of animal companionship and their unconditional love and loyalty is something which has to be experienced to be understood.
For those whose childhood has been filled with animal friends, it is hard to imagine a house without the presence of such life; the chair not claimed, the bed with so much space, the newspaper spread out on the table without a face staring up at you, the key board not being walked over as you work……
Having experienced the loss of parents and friends over the years, I have come to realize that grief is not something we can shun or pass through. It is something that is a part of you and longs to be embraced. You see, grief numbs your body, breaks you heart and drains you tears, but grief is also another form of love.
The reason grief is isolating is because talking about death in our society is off-limits. Death is inevitable and touches each one of us, but talking about it is a complete taboo. But, the only way through it is to face it head on.
For all those of you yearning for your loved one, nothing can justify your suffering, and there is no end of grief, but I hope you can see the beauty in grief at the time. We grieve because we love. How lucky we are to have experienced that love.
And, when all is said and done, love is how we keep them alive, even after they have gone.
In peace
Pastor Beryl, DLM